blogging, blogging tips, movie

The Pressure …

Being yourself means that you are happy with who you are no matter what things look like to others looking at you, or trying to predict what it is that you are doing with yourself, your life, and your career as a blogger on the internet. I think since the day I started, I read articles, and did my best to learn from others and get started in any way that I could, even if it meant using a lesser known platform weebly to begin building my website, without taking any coding courses, which I was once interested in but did not have the funding to take the course, but did take an introductory wordpress course prior to building, my second website, after building In order to build a website, you don’t necessarily need income earning ads, I started with shareasale, an internet ad making company that I found online, to get a membership and gain access to banners to post on my website. All the while Im sure others were thinking that the “ads” were a joke in reference to the movie “Social Network,” in which ad were a function of earning an income to make Facebook at the time. A huge change that the company underwent. So being a female blogger Im sure to see a general name over a website and blogging, seemed like a bigger idea than they saw me capable of creating or supporting through my own writing, but in the end it was possible, and went up the ranks on Alexa to 14,827, that took a lot of hard work. In order to move up on Alexa, in the US, you have to blog everyday, that gives you a barometer of what is liked versus what is not liked, and to also be mindful of how you carry yourself and how your days ar going, to be a positive person, all of that energy translates through your writing, it’s a feeling that others get from you is what I think is the matter with judgment when it comes to who is considered a desirable influence, versus who is viewed to not carry the type of kindered spirit capable of moderating a crowd or an audience of viewers, with enough filter to prevent for any unwanted exposures of you or members to a private audience on Facebook, your friends. What does being on IMDB mean? For me it means having some control over my story and my influence, what is being used and how it is being used, with some public recognition that I am known, and the number of people approximately who know me, who may be working off of me, that doesn’t mean influenced by me, it simply means that so long as things are working for me and popular, that I am being used as a metric or a tool for other people contemplating what it is they want to communicate to maybe a larger audience, and how that will play out for them, in terms of acceptance, what are some of the ideas that I am discussing on my blog, and what are some of the ideas that are coming up for people upon knowing me. What I think is the issue is comfort and acceptance, you have to be in a certain place in life for others to accept you, for you to apply, for things like huffpost blogging and be accepted, and that is something that I have always been working toward being more commercial, especially since I applied and was nominated for a personal development blogger award at Infinity Blog Awards. I think if you have a big name, and find out 2021 that you were mentioned in a book, the it might mean something for you to be presentable whether or not you know that you are important, and maybe that’s a quality about you that another may try to destroy thinking that you sound like you are well, and wanting to upplay or portray you as someone with mental health isssues who doesn’t make sense, for whatever its worth I am always doing my best, I never asked to get diagnosed with a mental health issue, I never lived a dangerous or disorderly life, in which I would be faced with experiences in life that I would later come to regret, if there is one place I don’t fit in that would be tech, it seems to be a very technically worded endeavor to run a startup or to raise money to be a company online and that I never had in me or thought of, so that would be pushing it to judged me as someone with a big idea who is trying to make money and raise money for my won benefit, if there was ever a fundraiser that I ran it was posting flyers on cones in front of the home on Sunset Blvd that holds fundraisers for Brady, for me that was a cute, maybe rebellious way of getting attention for an organization to be supported, at the time it wasn’t a growing problem gun violence, its was a common problem over the years, that recently has become a pattern of a problem again, much like it became a pattern when I was in law school. So whats with the Eric Prydz song “Call on Me” album cover on your Instagram @mymollydoll1985, its just an ode to a common theme or joke amongst female bloggers for the promotion and development of a network dedicated to promoting their work, which is now Instagram, so the dream came true thanks to Mark Zuckerberg, maybe not a project that I myself am invested in whole heartedly or able to create a network for women, let alone men who are interested in looking at pictures of me, or viewing the work or other female writers other than me, that would be wrong to limiting me for judgment based upon the gender benefited from my work, or which gender feels most represented by me. I think both genders feel represented by me when it comes to self-love, I don’t think I have the type of personality and demeanor that intimidates others or make others jealous, maybe why Im so likebale online, its my personality, I was born with it, being a middleman, or someone who had friends and then introduced all my friends to eachother, who are now friends, and who are still friends. So Ive never been someone who views people as for myself or keep things to myself, that’s not my personality, nor is it my personality to not stick up for people, who maybe were made to feel uncomfortable as promoters of conditions “self-love” before there was a movement for it and encourage and quite acceptance for it “self-love” Im sure that’s not the same thing as a party escalade of “self-love” on “Wolf of Wallstreet” but Im sure that these common themes have turned into jokes making fun of me for my life and personal history of self-injury, making it about things that Im frustrated about or unhappy about, Ive never been alone in my life, and being alone is a choice, and like many women who choose to be alone, “self-love” is an option, its not a way of life, its if you are in the mood and if it happens for you then its something that you partake is, but it doesn’t need to be a condition that is celebrated, its not a normal way to experience love, alone, love is definitely something that you want to experience with others, I would recommend being in a place in life in which you are comfortable with yourself in order to be loved by others and connect well, I don’t think keeping things to yourself or living a life in which you are made to feel like an introvert who has sex problems is advantageous to your health, this is how modeling becomes a good outlet for me, its not about people not feeling good by you because they don’t understand why you feel good, its feeling good in a way that’s not offensive and that’s what modeling is for, its an observable state that people can look at you, notice that you are feeling well, by your face structure and happiness, and that is a way in which others can be made to be comfortable with you, by seeing you, and not being offended by you or by how much energy you do or don’t have, judge you or misjudge you as bringing anyone down in life, or changing anyone for the worst or a disliked demeanor, which has never been my strategy for getting along with others, Im not someone who takes others under my wing, Im someone generally who others approach and take under their wing, and theyre not gay, they are women, who like me and support me, and who are positive towards me, to me that’s friendship, I think with “self-love” it puts you in a precarious position, that makes it uncomfortable to be around any sex man or woman, no one wants to be loved by someone who has difficulty experiencing love with others, and this may be a product of trauma, or heartbreak, not being able to move on, right now it takes me 3 years between relationships or meeting someone to move on, and Im now 36 so I don’t have time to constantly wait, and wait for a relationship to be nurtured to the point of a closer bond, I think its either there or its not. And this is why IMDb is so important, if its about how we connect, and about people feeling good by one another, then it must be some common ideas or ways of approaching one another, and getting to know one another that we get turned on by or turned off by and hopefully none of the conversations that we hold online, turn into something that makes or breaks it for us socially, including knowing me as a blogger. I think I do my best to be normal, and I recently noticed that I have not been myself lately, and I don’t know why that occurred for me, not while now according to lesliefischman.wpcomstaging is ranked on alexa, now retiring, 7,640 in the US and 8,377 globally, Im not sure whether that means specifically me, I signed up for wpcomstaging, because it said that if you want to put ads on your website that you have to go by this stock name, and since I am registered as a company, I thought that it matched my credentials or description. Just because I am registered as a company doesn’t mean that I have a business plan for making money, the business plan was to be a successful company on my own that supports an organization of my choice “Brady” for example. That means that its not me representing “Brady,” its me representing myself, and that when I am doing well, that shows others who are attracted to my content why its also important to support other organizations that might interest them, or maybe in the future bloggers that I choose to cite to, right now I have not made an effort to cite to other bloggers since recent online bullying, which has set me back a year, slow in producing new material, have not started working on writing another book for publishing, and have slowed down my goals in blogging, because of how much embarrassment that caused me and my family, it’s a lot of stress and strain when there is something being done to you that you don’t hacve control over especially something that out there makes people think less of you, based on how you look with a person or how you are with another person, you would never think that in intimate relationships that you would be made fun of for the type of love that you give or what you look like when you are being loving, and I never thought that that would happen to me. -So moving forward theres a lot of responsibility when it comes to being onine, its not that Im playing it cool and letting jokes fly over head, I just don’t think that Im in a place in life yet where it should matter to me whether anyone is making fun of me, I think in the middle of a pandemic, people will come up with any theory they think of for why things go wrong, and so long as they view you as an influencer they think that there is an idea or a set of ideas coming from you now or then that don’t work for them, or are not working for the,. And by the time you are in a better place, everyone pretends like they all know you or accept you, or never though less of you, when that’s really not the case, people give you hard time, if they identify you as representing something that they don’t think is because of you, plus size models, etc. 

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