For the most part I have improved, it’s better to be a man of your word than to be made out to be something that you’re not and that probably occurred because I wrote a book, I was doing well at the time I wrote my book, despite fires and jobs and any controversy with the defamation of my ex-Boss I’m assuming that anyone who hears your story looking at you thinking less of you thinks to challenge you in a less than humane way I will never understand upset that’s not my own that’s not properly disclosed and micro managed by a supportive group of individuals who have your best interests at heart and maybe my story is not that story not until it’s commercialized that’s when forgiveness takes hold when I’m no longer affected by the worries of others and when I turn out to be something better than they had expected is when you approach new territory when you recognize that you can’t predict the future and you can control the future by controlling people with past information or realizations about life that you don’t think their story represents or should be included in, sometimes it’s easier to judge people from afar and maybe content will make more sense to you if you have identified a subject that you can understand or comprehend more dislike than like with and that’s the unfortunate part about being me it’s not that everyone loves me that I’m loving it’s because I don’t have enemies in life or problems with others to move forward in a way that it does me a disservice to being anyone up in life when I’m doing well that’s not a positive purpose for travel in life to any point in time or memory maybe from an outsiders perspective they think they know you better but that’s not how to grow by disclosures that only created discomfort so while that’s the club of odds against you in life to be misunderstood with everyone else understood that’s not my disability or mental health issue with anyone, if you are required to talk another your past that’s to see what you are like on the inside then say that you use or drink because of your life experiences or people and I don’t think that all drink or drug use is for those issues I think having problems and going back out or misusing substances is something that creates mental illness by applying a non problem into a problem like voices a non problem amplified or announced then becomes a problem believed or sided with and I don’t think that anyone who does not like me should use my body to communicate something to all to make people be convinced that anyone has a problem with me because I blog to create a challenge for me moving forward treat me as someone controlled if someone told to do things who does things they’re not comfortable with and looks stupid.

So this issue is what I sounded like and why everything’s too much now and why I’ve stopped blogging it must have something to do with being at peace and not being at peace and what’s my loss and what’s it to me anyone’s issue with me I think liking people or knowing of people does not require you to conform or be taught anything about life that you don’t already know so what’s special about me is that I’m able to doesn’t and no matter whether I get sick or not and recover am able to communicate well in a way that makes sense I will never understand the upset of people who are unhappy not describing myself in treatment of anyone else struggling in recovery it’s not a joke life’s not a joke and I wouldn’t have created a better life for myself that I’m proud of of I were suicidal or self harm on purpose it’s not for attention it creates a distance makes people not want to hear from you and it’s that type of feeling that others treat you as though you were easy to be close to and claim to feel threatened by you not doing well and that’s not okay you be aggressive toward me like I’m supposed to accept closeness before intimacy or timing on my part online introduce me to the world incoherent to create a disrespect toward me then learn on your own these are some my arguments I own and can use in court they are not to disfavor or be used for experiment to empower anyone to test me provoke me or steal from me a stability or sense of peace disturb then pretend to be me my identity is not a position that you can change or modify to suit your needs based on what’s of issue I’m 36 I date older and it’s no ones business what happens to me and if you don’t like what I’m about or if you think there’s something old or guilty or grose about me then take it to court but don’t beat me up and hurt me so I look grose just do you can say I’m scary of grose looking or don’t deserve job or friendship or a life and cause me suicide. Then don’t get close to me and EVERYONE stay away from me, what blog is for. That’s things not working out for me where everyone wants me to pretend like nothing happened or no negative judgment has taken it’s toll on me what about my life my safety my reputation my feelings my health my progress!

Descriptions: Recent Discussions Private on my FB Page and Updates Shared to Friends and Stuff Kept Private from Public Discourse so things don’t get worse or real for me in negative way made to convince anyone to mistreat me on the basis of me not being able to identify how I got voices ….

Email to Work with cc: to Spitzer (advocate)

Still have the flu don’t think I should go into work tomorrow can work from home let me know if that will be okay, thank you for your understanding.

In addition working on complaining to FBI I have a lot of phone hacking so please do not send any sensitive information to my phone because it is not safe because someone takes things from my phone and puts it online I’m being defamed because I grew up best friends with Sydney Simpson so as a result there are provocative displays of me online to create attack toward me personal to affect my mental health and aggravate me and cause me mental illness and self harm hitting my head and resulted in causing me schizophrenia which I am trying to overcome and go back to work without being ridiculed online and made fun of for writing a book which I think was important at the time it was written 2018 to help others to better understand the unnecessary stress that I got out under as a law student being punished personally because I could not handle that no one would talk to me no one would help me and no one would let me talk about the case and what to discuss or not to discuss in relationship to ability to help others which is not open game for people to attack me on the basis of what I read study or look at and make fun of me as not liking or studying things that are in line with my cares in the world and I think because of the name of your organizational being made to hit my head on the basis of insult to say that I’m not a peaceful person my peace is disturbed by going through my things non supporters to my best interested looking for evidence to on the day of their choosing support me or attack on the basis of my hygiene face whether I date or don’t date do me dirty at my own expense not be believed or supported as intelligent thoughtful careful and kind and keep to myself don’t bother people need help.

Forwarding this to Todd Spitzer my chosen advocate who I hope will determine what is from me or being done to me and what basis chosen to punish or team up on me for what reasons I don’t know I’ve not hurt anyone so whatever game system they either do or don’t think I support on the basis of who I am willing or not wiling for everyone to make fun of me on the basis of OJ and how I grew up close to the family is not okay if people are well liked successful making money treat me like I’m not immune from opportunity lost to be treated as a human being respected treated as stupid or talked through to see what hits me insulted by.

FB Post In re: to hate page made of me with demeaning hashtags misidentifying me as bad or lesbian or a defective human being “delusional” connecting my content to OJ to all.

How bullying online has affected me and caused me voices where my complaints and take down requests are not honored and I don’t think I deserve to be subjected to negative attentions or attract a dark or X rated audience who I don’t need to cater to or be used as a human body to adjust to their temperament be manipulated or changed to accommodate the needs of people who have anger towards women as straight or gay then hurt or molest me or misinterpret my strength or progress as not for the betterment of all I’m a success story there is no need to treat me as a woman who is not to be impressed upon anyone in this atmosphere be degraded and treated as replaceable or not of value with positive purpose who does make a positive difference in the community I don’t need to be disabled or ridiculed or given disability for me to know my place or worth in the community online.

FB Caption put on a card published to my page.

What I go through in private it’s really not anyone’s business how I got voices I do my best to love a good life not bother anyone work get jobs move forward date if I can be loving be supportive meet people connect and continue to grow as a person work independent of others not affect anyone with a non genetic pre-disposition acquired from a misunderstanding of who I am or by what my face or body looks like a dislike for me that I don’t have for others or assumption of me being more interested than I am in someone disinterested in me who has a tendency to attack a discomfort which is an unwanted closeness they get in exchange for my peace take out their aggression or upset or ego reactions out on me as though my being bears strong resemblance to something I am that they think I don’t deserve to be with preference god me to get obese snd ugly liking because it’s easier for someone to accept me as less than than as someone admired or viewed as smart and so that’s how I get treated medically to conform to what they think of me to make that true of me either a fear of a voice I hear until that becomes a reality I would not hold discussions that I cannot have in person therefore I should not be treated as someone who says things in a strong or confident way who is not valuable of holding those discussions public.

Please Note: Previous post moved to drafts.