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Not New to Sobriety ….
My sober journey began when I started college at CU Boulder when I stopped smoking weed. I used to be an athlete and played club soccer including my freshman year in college. I lived in the engineering quad. We would travel on weekends all over Colorado so just didn’t drink or smoke weed. I didn’t…
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Change in Care …
Its always a blessing to have positive rapport with others, but its not okay to make someone look like something they are not for the purpose of comparison, in one interaction with a Reverend who held my hands and made selfie videos I slammed my head into the door repeatedly until it bled. That’s how…
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Theres No Such Thing as Pretending …
Theres no such thing as pretending, we are all human, and when our defenses are down no one expects to be hurt, just as anyone who you cant see, or don’t admire, you don’t want to think about, or be told anything bad about someone, made to feel uncomfortable by them, and that’s something no…
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Going to Treatment Tomorrow …
Its clear that whatever Im battling in life, Im losing, and since I cannot fix what is wrong, or say anything to get out of a condition in which I don’t feel well, to avoid anyone making an example of me, as someone who speaks and is not well, am going to treatment tomorrow, to…
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War is Not a Game …
When someone goes to war on you, you really think, what is it about me that’s so offensive to the best tastes of another. It could just be that someone is not attracted to me and wants nothing to do with me, and that’s understandable. You are what you look like, and you will not…
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Missing Pieces …
If you live for the moment you forget that in watching you others may be seeing something else. That’s being focused and being watched. I’m not sure what effect that has on others, when you keep busy, focused on yourself, that makes it easier for them to watch you or watch what you’re doing. That’s…
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Just an Illusion …
You will have many dreams in life, one of which will be to be loved and adored. You will have crushes in life too, none that require you to actually pursue them or try to talk to them. That’s just recipe for disaster. We are given quadrants in life of acceptance, and sometimes while traversing…
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Future Potential …
This is something you think about in your 30s, and if you’re lucky get picked in your 20s, if single super sensitive to the opinions of others based upon your status in life, single or taken, take pride in yourself. If anyone is not attracted to what you have to offer the world because of…
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Brought Down to Life …
Being down to earth means not thinking too highly of yourself, I think this is suggested so in the event someone tries to level you off and tell you how it is, you don’t hurt in the process. When your expectations are highest we are most likely to get hurt, expecting highly of ourselves and…
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The Times are Tough …
My best advice would be to stay in motion. During my toughest battles with bipolar I’ve done just that … set a regular schedule, set goals, kept up with chores, and kept moving forward. A little processing goes a long way but not to the extent that you spend more time thinking than the time…
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