Whenever I find myself ruminating I try to stop myself, think of something else they say. Its easy when youre feeling bombarded by emotions and feelings to think too much about what you are feeling without getting enough positive reinforcement. I found myself reviewing a post the other day, thinking to myself “Leslie why are you giving the negative take, why not start with the positive.” That’s an example of getting carried away in a feeling, for all you know its just a feeling and its not real, so think instead how should I be feeling and why, and this is why affirmations go along way. “Affirmations can help you challenge unwanted emotions.” [1] Whether that involves reinforcing your can do attitude, reminding yourself of all the things you are instead of thinking of all the things you are not, let alone what you think other people are thinking, that’s a toxic road to negative thinking, and you only wind up hurting yourself in the process. The key to feeling good is to have a good attitude about life, and that also includes how you feel about yourself, its when you stay strong in the face of challenges, that you stay motivated, it’s the thinking that your feelings are preventing you from doing things is whats allowing you to be ruled by negative emotions, instead of using your good thinking and get yourself out of the rut to begin with. We are constantly changing and adapting in response to our life experiences says healthline.com, [2] so why not gear up in preparation for those oh so dull moments, and come up with a plan, what to do in the event that you are feeling down. Here are a few pick me up strategies suggested by forbes.com to get out of negative thinking, besides stopping negative self-talk altogether with affirmations, challenge those thoughts, this is even recommended by my therapist. Ask yourself, is this statement true, why or why not, and start having that conversation within yourself, out loud, or in writing through journaling, if you know why you are facing this challenge in thinking, then you can stop yourself from having those thoughts all together, so long as you are reminded that those thoughts aren’t real, that’s not you, and that’s not your reality, don’t make your nightmare your reality! You can do this! Stay active, focus on “replacing thoughts of fear with thoughts of hope and belief.” [3] Stay active, set goals, and surround yourself with positive people, even if those people happen to be people online, through social media, find someone who is doing things right, just being around people who aren’t thinking the same thing as you, which is everyone, is a good start, getting outside of yourself, open your horizons, realize that the world is bigger than you are, and don’t allow yourself to be ruled by negative thinking, it’s the negative thinking that affects your motivation, your progress, and your ability to follow through with most things that you would otherwise like to be doing, such as socializing, dating, being romantic, working, and achieving in life, why lower your standards to a subset of “beliefs” that you have about things not working out, or waste time rationalizing with those thoughts convincing yourself that those circumstances are true. Part of getting out of phases in life when you feel like life is hard requires you to push though old behaviors and thought patterns and build a new, so there is no better way to start doing so, other than to do the research. Read! Most transitions in life are hard, I have found myself free reading through most changes in life, its calming, it allows me to listen to hear from others, and it reminds me that my life isn’t the only thing going on in the world, and not everyone has the same thoughts as me, how refreshing. Learn to separate yourself from the person you were when things were not going right, and make room for the person that you hope to become, who feels good, and makes others in the room likewise feel whole, isn’t it a pleasant feeling to feel welcomed, yes you can be one of those people again, not the one walking in with a dark cloud over your head, we’ve all been there, I assure you that whats bothering you now, if dealt with, will not be the same shadow following you around that everyone can see reminded of everything you’ve gone through, most people that want to have you in their life, respect your past, as you should theirs, and want to see you in the present moment, embracing all that you are, flaws and all, without a noticeable scratch on you, that’s overcoming the past, you can do this, believe in yourself. 

Reference:

[1] https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/affirmations-for-depression

[2] https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/affirmations-for-depression

[3] https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2018/04/25/11-ways-to-stop-negative-thought-patterns-and-move-forward/?sh=2ef163dd19ff